Well I was not very proud of it, or not as proud as my younger sister thinks I should be. Not even as proud as I would have thought I would be, while I used to picture myself in the future, day dreaming sitting on the last bench of a class 9 geography class, waiting, desperately to be on my own:- be free, no strings attached, no dependencies, a woman of her own choice and making. Unattached, Unaffected, Unattained…..
Well unattained I had been for 6yrs …Till I was 20, I really don’t think I was a very seductive prospect for any kind of association. After, I can justify it by saying I was busy being intellectual. I was studying doing my engineering for heavens sake?!
So in this state of “nirvana – the absolute detachment from the male species”, let me continue to flatter myself to say that I have seen, felt & experienced the infinitesimally recognized yet universally existent world of a single Indian woman.
I have felt her pangs and faced her trauma. I have laughed at her falls and judged her actions. I have bled at her failure and cried tears of joy at those few moments of self realization. I have flowed in her veins, filled her senses, turned her on, had her come, I have been her.
I think my happiest years of single hood were the first few, (read two, OK!! as an ode to my vodka and Bacardis, ill make that first four)
It’s amazing how the very things that you run away from initially are the ones that make you beg and plead and go down on your knees for a few years later. – I guess my promiscuousness angered the relationship gods (or goddesses). I’m sure I made them jealous as heaven! [Cant say hell, can I?]
Lemme see, when was the first time I felt really single, (and in a good way). I’d think the first time I shopped for a pair of jeans with my own money,
or the first time I bought this really sensuous parfum from the Parisian brands,
or the first time me and my other single friends toasted to a bunch of Bacardi with cokes,
or the first time I partied till the wee hours of the morning…
Or the time I saw my girl friends get married to do no-gooders, get pregnant and look forward to living their lives as occupational aiyaas to their natural born children or the babies they had married… Who were they kidding!?
But none the less, the first few times I really felt miserably single was when I was 25 and would go out to watch really heart twisting, tear pouring mushy, cute romantic movies and have none to bestow all that pent up love for…
The times I would be out to these awesome breathtaking beautiful places, with romantic couples all around me, lip locked, eyes fixed, while I had none remotely in mind who I could hold hands with.
But the worst of all was when my parents questioned my capabilities of finding my man, myself and started hunting, tracking, advertising me in every matrimonial Market available.
It has been long twisting turning journey of getting what I want and wanting what I got. But in the end I strongly believe that companionship, like all good things is something that comes to you when you least want it, but the most need it!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Pursuit of happines
"Ask if you are happy and you cease to be it."
And im thinking; 'how TRUE!!", as i scan the headlines of the Times Of India, dated 3rd jul 2007: " India ranks 46th in the 50-nation happiness index. US, norway and Sweden taking the top 3 positions.
Besides the fact that this survey is done based on the factors like health, equality of oppourtunity, religious faith, levels of income, employment... which makes it impossible for any developping / underdevelopped country to come in the top 30 place, I'm curious about the age old adage - "Ignorance is bliss" or could it read, in this context to, "Ignorance is Happiness".
I have lived in the land of oppourtunity, in this happiest ocuntry, the US of A, not too long, about 2 yrs, in cities as remote as not to be visible on the map, as Middle Town(CT), to the brightest of them all NYC (NY).
I can say without doubt, that contentment is what drives most americans. Most are content and happy with their summer houses that they go to every summer and winter houses every winter, mostly in the same state [the nieghbouring state, if they are a litle adventurous]. Contrary to the common belief, most americans have not left thier state, leave alone, thier country since their birth and have no plans to, what so ever. They are Happy with their barbeque lunches by the pool, in their condo complexes or the hiking trips in the mountain ranges next to their home or Camp in the neighbouring campsite, or raft in the local river.
Yes agreed, that America gives them all, that, they dont feel the need to peep outside of the massive cacoon, each has created for himself. But then again, most do not know the "other side" to find it "greener"!!
Most indians have an envious nieghtbour, who vacations to a new exotic location, every few months, or a daughter of a industrialist, in his class, who owns the latest Iphone or a Apple MAC and sports a new wardrobe every week, or a boss who changes his car/bungalow every year.
I guess as indians we always have some thing or someone, just like you and me, an average human being who is making it big!! We always have our yardstick, being raised higher, each itme we reached the previous one... I guess as indians we are not content with what we have...
I guess as indians, we are NOT a Happy People!!
But, is that a Sad thing??... Im not so sure....
And im thinking; 'how TRUE!!", as i scan the headlines of the Times Of India, dated 3rd jul 2007: " India ranks 46th in the 50-nation happiness index. US, norway and Sweden taking the top 3 positions.
Besides the fact that this survey is done based on the factors like health, equality of oppourtunity, religious faith, levels of income, employment... which makes it impossible for any developping / underdevelopped country to come in the top 30 place, I'm curious about the age old adage - "Ignorance is bliss" or could it read, in this context to, "Ignorance is Happiness".
I have lived in the land of oppourtunity, in this happiest ocuntry, the US of A, not too long, about 2 yrs, in cities as remote as not to be visible on the map, as Middle Town(CT), to the brightest of them all NYC (NY).
I can say without doubt, that contentment is what drives most americans. Most are content and happy with their summer houses that they go to every summer and winter houses every winter, mostly in the same state [the nieghbouring state, if they are a litle adventurous]. Contrary to the common belief, most americans have not left thier state, leave alone, thier country since their birth and have no plans to, what so ever. They are Happy with their barbeque lunches by the pool, in their condo complexes or the hiking trips in the mountain ranges next to their home or Camp in the neighbouring campsite, or raft in the local river.
Yes agreed, that America gives them all, that, they dont feel the need to peep outside of the massive cacoon, each has created for himself. But then again, most do not know the "other side" to find it "greener"!!
Most indians have an envious nieghtbour, who vacations to a new exotic location, every few months, or a daughter of a industrialist, in his class, who owns the latest Iphone or a Apple MAC and sports a new wardrobe every week, or a boss who changes his car/bungalow every year.
I guess as indians we always have some thing or someone, just like you and me, an average human being who is making it big!! We always have our yardstick, being raised higher, each itme we reached the previous one... I guess as indians we are not content with what we have...
I guess as indians, we are NOT a Happy People!!
But, is that a Sad thing??... Im not so sure....
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