Memoires of a SingleGirl

Well I was not very proud of it, or not as proud as my younger sister thinks I should be. Not even as proud as I would have thought I would be, while I used to picture myself in the future, day dreaming sitting on the last bench of a class 9 geography class, waiting, desperately to be on my own:- be free, no strings attached, no dependencies, a woman of her own choice and making. Unattached, Unaffected, Unattained…..

Well unattained I had been for 6yrs …Till I was 20, I really don’t think I was a very seductive prospect for any kind of association. After, I can justify it by saying I was busy being intellectual. I was studying doing my engineering for heavens sake?!

So in this state of “nirvana – the absolute detachment from the male species”, let me continue to flatter myself to say that I have seen, felt & experienced the infinitesimally recognized yet universally existent world of a single Indian woman.

I have felt her pangs and faced her trauma. I have laughed at her falls and judged her actions. I have bled at her failure and cried tears of joy at those few moments of self realization. I have flowed in her veins, filled her senses, turned her on, had her come, I have been her.

I think my happiest years of single hood were the first few, (read two, OK!! as an ode to my vodka and Bacardis, ill make that first four)

It’s amazing how the very things that you run away from initially are the ones that make you beg and plead and go down on your knees for a few years later. – I guess my promiscuousness angered the relationship gods (or goddesses). I’m sure I made them jealous as heaven! [Cant say hell, can I?]

Lemme see, when was the first time I felt really single, (and in a good way). I’d think the first time I shopped for a pair of jeans with my own money,
or the first time I bought this really sensuous parfum from the Parisian brands,
or the first time me and my other single friends toasted to a bunch of Bacardi with cokes,
or the first time I partied till the wee hours of the morning…
Or the time I saw my girl friends get married to do no-gooders, get pregnant and look forward to living their lives as occupational aiyaas to their natural born children or the babies they had married… Who were they kidding!?

But none the less, the first few times I really felt miserably single was when I was 25 and would go out to watch really heart twisting, tear pouring mushy, cute romantic movies and have none to bestow all that pent up love for…
The times I would be out to these awesome breathtaking beautiful places, with romantic couples all around me, lip locked, eyes fixed, while I had none remotely in mind who I could hold hands with.
But the worst of all was when my parents questioned my capabilities of finding my man, myself and started hunting, tracking, advertising me in every matrimonial Market available.

It has been long twisting turning journey of getting what I want and wanting what I got. But in the end I strongly believe that companionship, like all good things is something that comes to you when you least want it, but the most need it!